Truth, Aslan, And AlienJesus

I'm calling Bullshit on the whole "My Truth" thing. Beginning with my own "my Truth".

Over the past 3-4 years, through all the therapy, all the counseling, all the recovery, all the doctors and assessments and diagnosis, all the darkness, all the void...I recall a lot of people talking to me about "my truth". About learning to speak my truth...to know it, see it, understand it, articulate it, defend it, and damn near deify it. Bladdidy blah blah...

Here's the thing: I don't view Truth that way. I'm not totally sure that those who say such things understand what Truth is...as in, the meaning of the word "truth". I think they may mistake View for Truth.

I believe that Truth is an Immutable Form, as defined by Plato. I believe Biblical theology, though termed differently, validates this view. As an immutable form, Truth exists. Thusly, I can participate in Truth- I can observe it and ponder it. Reflect upon it. Hold it. Accept it. Comprehend it. Describe it and apply reason to it. I can teach it. Give it figurative life through language and imagination. Record it. Appreciate it. All of those and more.

What I can't do is create it. It is an immutable form. It does not come from me. What doesn't come from us isn't owned by us. And because that is true, there can be no "My Truth". There is Me. There is Truth. Either Truth and Me are aligned in ways and at points that matter or we are not. And that is that.

And so, even the very idea that "there are no absolute truths" suddenly becomes false because that in itself would be an absolute truth. The house of cards begins to crumble quickly, doesn't it?

It's ok to have a View of the Truth. That's all any of us have. My View of Truth is different than yours. Yours is different than everyone else's. And so on. One Truth, Infinite Views. This is why it is so terribly important that we NOT conflate Truth with View. If we do, there will never be peace at all anywhere for anyone. It is also why it is so critical for us to learn from one another as we go. You know things I don't. Vice versa. And so on.

A View of Truth is natural, but it isn't the same as Truth. Discerning Truth from View is critical because they are handled very differently. I've outlined already how we may participate in Truth. When it comes to our Views, those are our creations- built and assembled in part by our minds and imaginations and then topped off with our own beliefs and intentions. Therefore, a View may contain records or visions of Truth, if it's an honest View...but it isn't Truth.

When I act in accordance with my View, well then I can pretty much write my own path, can't I? A path that will lead wherever I want it to go. Wherever I choose. Society certainly encourages broad license. That is dangerous circular thinking. Sometimes it can spiral. Sometimes we get it wrong, because although Views contain shadows or reflections of Truth, they aren't truth. So when we act in accordance with a View, we are NOT acting in accordance with Truth.

When I act in accordance with Truth, then all of the things that I want are generally absorbed back into Truth. That is the physics of it. We bend to Truth because it is an immutable form. That is a difficult and painful, yet transformative, process, if the process is honest.

For me, day to day, not knowing which reality is real is a dizzying way to live. That is the nature of psychosis. Having some sense of a Truth that doesn't change and shift with Me is a lifeline.

Back to Life, Back to Reality...

But here is where it begins to completely up-fuck itself (shouldn't end sentences with a preposition). I have learned and experienced- and not necessarily in that order- that there is a very delicate and tenuous balance between Truth and View and Real. I have looked at how Truth and View may interact, but when Real is brought into the equation, interesting things happen.

For instance, when Real changes or fractures or just disappears, Views break. Some slowly, some suddenly. Some violently, as though being jolted awake INTO a nightmare. If one's whole world is made up of Views, or "my truths", then one may not survive those moments. Your view is your creation, and when YOU, the creator, are in crisis of reality, then the very cords you grasp at to catch yourself are the ones evaporating in front of your eyes as you fall.

On the other hand, Truth does not come from us. When Real changes and Views evaporate, Truth is unaffected. Some cords do not give when you grasp. They stick. When you hold a strand of Truth, it holds power beyond the Real. Those are the Jesus-Take-The-Wheel moments. The Lord-Save-Me moments. Those moments when you learn real quick what's what and what's not.

Here is a true statement for my part: the most real thing I've ever been a part of took place in a moment where nothing in my world was real and then subsequently over a period of time in which everything I created was fantasy. For me, as Real evaporated, Truth remained and shone at its brightest in the Unreal.

At the end of the day, we have to make sense of what we experience. For me in my moments of confusion and doubt and dismay at not understanding what happened to me, I am comforted deeply by a voice from my childhood. Another fantastical, highly unreal savior named Aslan. CS Lewis' lion character from the Narnia series has always been the most real point of view of the Bible's narrative in my mind. Even as a child, my difficulty grasping religious concepts was real. I found much meaning in the Narnia books. It was all fantasy of course, but it connected me to higher narratives and Truths that have sustained me my entire life.

I can tell you that Aslan and AlienJesus are one in the same. Built from the same stuff. As my realities continued to break and everything I'd ever known fell away, I was- quite literally- held in his hands for months. And in those dull, suspended months, I was quietly and peacefully given my own little Narnia...one piece, one story at a time. Because without that point of view, I would never have conceived enough to believe. It was grace given and I was allowed an entire world just for me. One place in the whole universe where my heart's desire became Real. Where Truth became Real. I called for it one day on a bridge, and I was answered.

Some may find AlienJesus offensive. Some may say it is silly nonsense. Or sacrilegious. Or a waste of time. Or evidence of a broken mind. They'd all be correct, by the way. To one who hasn't experienced what I've experienced, the point of view I hold is shockingly out of touch.

I recall as a child, reading The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe in total fascination. Lewis described how the female lead characters rode on the back of Aslan as he bounds through the forest on giant, velvety, lion-paws. My brain said "wait...they rode on the Son of God's back?" Sacrilegious, right? It's certainly a different point of view, but time has shown otherwise. And to my child brain, that idea flipped the switch on a variety of afore-not-thought-of questions and possibilities about the nature of God.

However, when Lewis first published these works, the early critical response to was mixed. While many recognized its imaginative charm, some critics found the stories uneven, sentimental, or overly chaotic in their blending of myths. Notable critics included J.R.R. Tolkien, who disliked the seemingly-random mix of fauns, giants, and Santa Claus, while others criticized the Christian allegories and gender portrayals. I guess Lewis had his own uphill battle.

Point being, just as Aslan and Narnia describe and demonstrate Truth through the characters and their experiences, AlienJesus does the same for me

More to come.